When you finally set a boundary after a long stretch of saying yes, a specific kind of guilt can show up. It is not always the guilt of doing something wrong. Sometimes it is the guilt of stopping. After saying yes a hundred quiet times, one clear no can feel strangely harsh, even when you know it makes sense. You may have thought saying no would feel relieving. Maybe even empowering. But instead, you walk away replaying the conversation in your head, wondering if you sounded

I have spent most of my life being told I was bad for being upset about things other people decided were irrational. This is one of those times. I invited my grandmother to hotpot as a belated Mother’s Day gift. In my mind, I had already mapped out the meal: my mom, dad, sister, grandmother, and I. My grandmother was the person I had added to our usual family meal, so I had a rough financial expectation of what the afternoon would cost, somewhere around ₱2,500 to ₱3,000. Then